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Right after I have a baby I become the freak of worry, so this swine flu has got me all freaked out! First my grandad calls a few nights ago telling me about this flu he saw on the news. I admit I laughed at how concerned he was. I love older people and CNN. Then, my mom calls yesterday and gets me a little concerned. Now, I'm worried.

I hate germs. Yes, I guess I would call myself a bit of a germaphobe. I'm not too concerned about myself, but I incessantly worry about my children. So, tonight when Kiley comes in complaining of a sore throat and running a fever, I am trying hard to not loose sight of what is real to look at what is worry. I could use words of encouragement, so feel free to post any uplifting thoughts. I'm sure she's fine. Obviously, she hasn't been to Mexico, and I think she would be a whole lot sicker, but still I'm worried.

If you haven't heard of swine flu here's a link to an article about it http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/story/2009/04/26/ST2009042602832.html, but if you worry like I do, forget I said anything and chalk it up to watching too much CNN.

Maybe I'm crazy

Okay, if you read my last post, you know that I was a bit stressed out yesterday. I was tired of everyone being sick, and I was tired of worrying. Well, I'm happy to report, we all got a bit more sleep last night, no one threw up, and we woke up to a good morning. But, I feel for humor's sake and just to laugh at my own afternoon/evening, I should share the happenings of yesterday.

As I said in the previous post, I am suffering from lack of sleep. Well, Deano was down for a nap, the baby was asleep, Kiley was in bed with her stomach bug, and I saw a great opportunity to turn the TV on for Ryan put in his new favorite movie Bolt and enjoy a nap for myself. Before I begin this story, keep in mind, Ryan absolutely knows the rules of the house; he's almost 5.

I laid down, and after about an hour, I heard the TV turn off, and I figured Ryan turned it off because he was doing something else or he fell asleep and Kiley turned it off. Kiley was in my room getting a movie, so I asked if Dean was still sleeping, and she said yes. I fall back asleep and wake up about 20 minutes later to the sound of the bathtub running! Of course, taking a bath while I sleep is a big no no in my house for obvious reasons of drowning, but I figure it must be Kiley who I know would be okay. Still, I'm not thrilled; so, I start heading that way.

As I come out of the bedroom, I realize the back door is standing wide open and Bryson is heading out. Great, someone was an escapee. Not to mention, all the bugs etc. who have come in. I holler out the door and yell to see if it's Kiley or Ryan is outside. Kiley yells back from her room, so that only leaves my dear sweet Ryan who, by the way, isn't responding to my calls. I remember the running water and head to the bathroom which I find conveniently locked! ArRgH! I bang on the door and scream loud enough for the neighbors to hear, for that dear boy to, "Open the dang door." He obeys and opens the door at which point I see what could only be Ryan covered in mud. Not only is he covered in mud but the whole bathroom seems to have gone with him outside. Mud in the sink, on the bathtub, and all over the floor leads to this discussion.

Me: Why are you drawing a bath.
Ryan: Because I'm covered in mud.
Me: Why are you covered in mud.
Ryan: Because I made mud in the garden and played in it.
Me: Are you supposed to be outside while I was sleeping?
Ryan: No, but I didn't want to ask you.
Me: Should you get in the bath when I"m sleeping?
Ryan: No, but I was trying to get clean before you woke up.

More useless conversation results in Ryan getting grounded, crying for a long time, and more yelling for the neighbors entertainment. During this time, Bryson decides a bath is a good idea and starts getting in to join Ryan. As his takes his diaper off POO goes flying all over the bathroom. Oh CRAP! I lay him down to try and wipe him down and poo goes all over the bathmat!

I get ANOTHER load of laundry started with the new muddy poopy mess, I get the bathroom cleaner to take care of the bathroom, and go to bathe these dear boys of mine. When I reach in the water to get the washrag, I realize the water is the temperature of the sun and an entire bottle of baby soap has been used by the first dear boy to wash.

More frustrated cries on my part result in Jay waking up and screaming along with his brothers. I get the two older boys out of the tub and go to Jay's rescue. He too has pooped again! Remember my wiping dilemma and the brilliant idea to spray him off instead? That was foolish. I attempt it, make a huge mess, Clorox the sink, and get another bright idea. I decide to sit down and hold Jay with no diaper to let his cheeks "air out a bit." I mean he just pooped, it should be safe. Right? Wrong! The poop machine goes off. Luckily, I have him on a blanket, so it wasn't too bad, but it's still more poop.

At this point I just begin to laugh! I know it sounds crazy, but I am so grateful to be here with these great kids of mine and enjoy the crazy life we have together. I have been struggling a lot lately with the idea of needing to go back to work. If I find and need to take a job, I Know I will terribly miss this. When I say that my dear husband cracks up and swears I'm crazy! Maybe I am!

The worries of a mom

Wow, we've had a long week. First, Bryson got croup for the second time this year. Croup isn't fun for any baby, but it's especially hard on Deano. He ended up on steroids and breathing treatments, going into retractions, and staying at Nana's to avoid contact with Jay. I can't express how much I hated having him sick and not with me. I tried to be in both places as much as possible, and luckily my mom was able to take some time off work and my mother-in-law came to help. Which was good since Chris also came down with a bad bug and had to stay at Nana's. Jay still got a bug, but it was mild (not to say it didn't still scare me.) No sleep and lots of worry adds up to an unreasonable mom. Because Bryson was so sick as a baby, I now feel panicky about Jay coming down with anything and the resulting anxiety gets the better of me far too often lately. A friend and I were talking the other day about the extreme worry that comes with becoming a mom. It seems to be a worry no one can prepare you for.

So fast forward to last night. Jay is having poopy diaper after poopy diaper. There is never a lot in any one diaper but it is causing enough wiping that his butt is beginning to bleed from literally being wiped raw! I have tried any creams I can find (A+D, Burt's Bees, Desitin). Today, I am trying to avoid wiping him; instead, spraying him off with water seems to be the only answer. I would greatly appreciate any tips from you mom's out there.

Well, just as sleep begins to find me, I hear Kiley yell, "Mom!" I go to her aide as she is throwing up everywhere! Ahhh! Well, after a few hours of throwing up, she seems to be on the mend. Now, we are trying hard to stop it from invading the rest of family. Namely Deano. The virus he is still battling has made him loose weight he didn't need to loose. Yikes, more worry!

In the midst of all this, I would like to give a shout out to my husband. He has been so great. I am so lucky to have this wonderful man in my life. He really is fantastic. Thank goodness for really great husbands.

Last I would like to leave a picture of what I saw today when I looked out the window. Ryan and Bryson are becoming such great friends. I love to look outside and watch Ryan talking to his little bother and showing him the ropes in this life. I feel sad that I didn't have siblings to share those quiet times with; although, there are days I feel lucky to have avoided the fighting involved. I am also posting a couple of updated pictures of Jay! He is such a beautiful baby! I don't mean to brag, but he's too cute to not show off a little.

I think we should get hitched!

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Jay Nolen is Here!

Our handsome little guy is finally here. Labor and delivery went well, and we are so happy to report that we have been blessed with a healthy baby boy. Jay weighed 7lbs 13oz at birth and measured 19.5 in long. He is so perfect! He has his daddy's dimples and looks a lot like Kiley did at birth! We are so excited to bring him home. Kiley and Ryan are ecstatic to have a new brother and eager to help Mommy any way they can. Bryson is not quite so sure about sharing his mommy, but he does seem to really love his new brother. We are so grateful for our children, and we are so happy to have another sweet spirit in our home to love.

End of Pregnancy Update

As you can tell from our countdown, I only have a little over two weeks left, so I thought I should update on my progress.

• I have had 3 other kids and NEVER been this miserable in pregnancy. I am so uncomfortable I could cry (and sometimes I do just that).
• I am fatter and more swollen than I have been since Kiley. How depressing!
• All I ever want is a happy healthy baby, and I am so grateful to be having just that, so please don't take this in any other way, but I want my body back!
• I am 1-2 centimeters dilated, barely effaced, and the baby is so high they can't come anywhere near him. (Not great progress.)
• When we built this house, we didn't put a shelf in the shower. Man! I'm regretting that decision. I CANNOT shave my legs without almost killing myself!
• The older two kids are ecstatic to have a new brother. The littlest one I'm not too sure about. If we talk about the baby to him, he now ignores me and acts like nothing is going on. We got out the swing bouncer etc., and Bryson thinks all these things are great new toys for him. I worry about how he will feel.
• I am so overly worried about everything at this point. It's not just the baby, it's Chris's job, me not finding a job, etc. I need this baby to get here so I can hold him and know he is alright. I also need a name for this baby. My hubby is being a little difficult in this department! Ugh!
• It's Spring Break and I feel so bad for my poor little bored children. We can't really go anywhere because of pregnancy and money, so they are starting to go crazy, but I'm so glad we have a nice backyard.
• I know it will all be over soon, and while part of me is so relieved, the other part of me is a little sad knowing this is our last one. I feel like some huge chapter in my life is coming to a close. Obviously, we have to stop sometime, but I didn't know how old that would make me feel.

Okay, it's been awhile since I've blogged, so here's a quick update. I had a great birthday and Valentines Day last month. I posted a picture of me and the kids eating delicious chocolate covered strawberries on Valentines Day. Chris got some for me and his little princess. I think she'll really like being the only girl!

I also posted a picture of my wonderful husband teaching Ryan how to treat a lady. My feet are killing me in this pregnancy, so he offered to rub them for me, and the kids wanted in on the fun. Hey, any time I can get a foot rub is a good day!

Also, Ryan is growing up way too fast. He learned to ride his bike and now goes everywhere. I am so impressed at how well he does! Girls and boys are so different. When Ki learned to ride she fell hard for the first time and took awhile to try it again. Ryan is the total opposite. He falls and gets right back on. He is such a tough guy!

I also had a wonderful diaper party thanks to Ashlee and my mom! I got so much great stuff, we ate great food, and played fun games. The funnest one involved running across the lawn with a water balloon between the legs without dropping it. Thus, not "breaking your water." It was hilarious, but my camera died just before a got a picture.

One last picture is of Kiley in her adorable acorn costume her Grandma came and made for her. We tied some jean quilts for the boys and made this for her upcoming play! I think she looks so cute!